THE SPACE BETWEEN

February 11, 2018

 

 

The offer stands

Like a sentinel

 

Well.. maybe I could give you room enough to breathe

So you might find the answers

To my avalanche of questions

Somewhere within

In time

 

Time is suspended for me 

Minutes are endless

Hours are years

Hence my urgency

My fear it’ll all slip away from me

 

Into eternity

 

Nothingness

 

Still.. I can see

 

I’m grasping again

Reaching for you like a raft in a storm

The way I do

Writhing in the grief

Waves crashing over me

Flinging me around my emotions

Like a rag doll with nothing to hold onto 

 

Not fair to you

 

You didn’t agree to be that for me

I only wanted you to

But, that’s not up to me

 

I slip sometimes

 

Search outside myself

 

That’s the wrong direction

 

It’s hard to remember in times like these

I have everything inside that I will ever need 

 

Buoyancy

 

Now to find my place of surrender

To the ocean of confusion

The paradox of it all

The well of darkness inside my light

And the light inside my darkness

 

To the ache on either side of loss and love

Tangled up between desire and dismay

Stringing myself over a chasm

Of not knowing which way

To turn

 

To the truth that she’s gone

And, we live on

But, that you may not be ready for me yet (or ever)

 

To the truth that I have no control

Over outcomes

But, that somewhere inside this deep, dark pain

Beauty still remains

 

I’m here

In the space between

With battered heart in hand

The offer stands

Always 💋

 

Yours,

L.xx. 

 

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